Make Ritual in Everyday Life

Human needs for connectedness and belonging are largely ill-defined and dishonored in much of modern life. Most of us seek ways to meet them through concerts, sporting events, following celebrities’ lives, family dinners, religious ceremonies, and church services.

After officiating a wedding, it’s common to hear from guests about how much they loved what we did, how missing this sort of ritual is from their lives, and how they can’t put into words how it felt to be part of something so big.

I want to help you have more ritual in your life to be fulfilled, satisfied, and healthy. I want to take the pressure off of you during life transitions and facilitate beautiful, ceremonies for you. That’s who I am. That’s what I think about twenty-four/seven.

However, there are so many things you can do on your own!

I invite you to consider ways to focus any beautiful life moment using the 3 components of ritual that I outlined above:

1. Bring people together as equal humans (usually in a circle),

2. Set an intention (usually with words), and

3. Engage all of the senses (usually with candles, incense, and flowers).

You can do this for the major seasonal holidays and important life transitions, but I would argue, more significantly, for those transcendent, fleeting life moments that call out for focus. We’ve all sensed those transcendent moments that seem to come out of nowhere and wondered how to work with them, how to allow them to be, and how to express them. I invite you to step forward next time one of these moments presents itself and do the following:

1. Speak the thought that everyone is thinking but no one knows how to say.

2. Start with humor—we are so unused to ritual, most of us, that our first response is awkward discomfort. Make a joke and plunge right in—it works!

3. When you have people’s attention, close your eyes and speak simply and briefly from the heart. Take a risk and say what needs to be said. When you open your eyes again, you will feel the connection with others in the room.

4. Tears come at the most unexpected times, from the most unexpected places. The person you least expected to be impacted by this ritual is often the one with the most going on. Don’t try to control other people’s surprising reactions. They are a sign that important work is being done.

Empower yourself to priestess the big and small moments of your life. Enjoy!